Keeping up and keeping track

I feel like first year (and probably 2nd and 3rd year) teachers cry more getting home from their job than virtually any other profession out there.  As such, I've decided I'm going to keep track of the number of days I cry while at my job.  Total tally so far: 1.  And that's only since the kids have been in the classroom!  Include all the days freaking out about how I don't feel ready for this, and I've got a good 3 or 4 in there.

Okay, so I'm kidding about keeping track.  Kind of.

But I'm NOT kidding about the whole crying thing.  And what makes it worse (or maybe better?  I'm not really sure) is that today wasn't even a BAD day!  Things went okay.  The kids were a little bit rowdy, and I definitely need to work on some ideas for how to keep them under control at crucial parts of the day (especially a select few) but nothing actually happened!  The kids all really like me and seem excited, for the most part.  But just the stress of having to plan things from scratch is tough on me.

And I love love LOVE my grade level team - they're funny, super nice, have tons of experience... but they literally know what they're doing all day every day.  And I don't want to just copy their ideas, by any means.  But I feel like I don't know if I'm doing things right or not!  I do the lessons they say I should do, but how LONG they last, or the WAY I teach it... I just feel like I'm floundering.  Even though I have a plan and ideas for how I want the lesson to go, I just feel incredibly unsure.  And self-conscious.  Which is NOT a good combination when teaching.  Don't get me wrong, I'm fine in front of the kids, and overall I feel good about how my lessons have been going... I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing.  But that's what sucks... That's normal - It's how I'm SUPPOSED to feel.

The Top 10 Ways to (Not) Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade

The title for this post is inspired by a children's book I found while browsing online the other day.  (It's called "The Top 10 Ways to Ruin the First Day of 5th Grade" for those of you who care.)  Lucky for me my first day of teaching went off, somewhat to my surprise, with little to no issues.  Sure, there were the typical things that always happen when you work in education.  A kid decides they don't feel like doing the assignment you gave them, another needs your help because he's struggling to even READ the handout you gave the class, students decide to tell you at the LAST MINUTE that they aren't sure how they're getting home (Both problems which were resolved fairly quickly, thankfully).  A kid is a fairly constant distraction because he sneaked a Red Bull behind his dad's back this morning.  (Yeah - a 10 year old hopped up on ridiculous amounts of caffeine and sugar... You do the math.) You know, stuff like that.

And I can only say one thing for certain.  I am dead. tired.

Even though I had trouble sleeping (You know the whole "butterflies, nausea, freakout" that sometimes happens?  It hit me like a ton of bricks at about 11 pm when I was trying to fall asleep.) I woke up and got to school at 6:45 on the nose.  Yes, 6:45 AM.  For those individuals who think "Teachers get to leave their job at 3 o'clock, why should they complain?",  it doesn't happen.  12-hour days are a regular occurrence and, although today didn't quite hit that mark, it was close.  But when all was said and done, 10 1/2 hours later, I can officially say that I got through the first day of school unscathed.

And honestly, I was fine the entire day.  Until they had us go to the library for a staff meeting, that is.  Just the act of sitting, then standing 30 minutes later made me realized how utterly EXHAUSTED I was.  So for now, I bid thee farewell, eat dinner, soak my feet, run through everything for tomorrow one (or 2) last time, and sleep.  I'm just thankful that everybody got home at the end of the day and that this didn't happen:

Day 0

So I finally did it - I made a blog.

It seems like throughout my entire time as an education major, they've been talking non-stop about how we need to embrace technology in the clssroom.  Blogs, wikis, Skype, wordles... you name it, I've learned about it!  But honestly, I never truly embraced this whole "technology" thing.  I think it might have been just a little too overwhelming for me as a student teacher.  There were too many options - too many GREAT ideas for me to wrap my mind around.  Too many unexplored avenues.  It was all great in theory, but putting it into place?  I was just trying to survive the REST of student teaching.

So of course, where do I end up spending my first year as a teacher but in a county with seemingly ENDLESS ideas about technology?  I mean, every student in my classroom has their OWN laptop!  I couldn't even imagine that when I was in school!  So I've decided to try to turn over a new leaf.  I will embrace technology, both in and out of the classroom.  And that starts here.

I don't know who else remembers reading "From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" but I remember it as one of my favorites growing up.  And thinking about it, it's all about a girl who runs away with her brother to go on an adventure.  And while I'm living by myself, and I certainly didn't run away from anything, the idea of going on an adventure full of suspense, uncertainty, and excitement (and a certain lack of money) fits quite well with what I'm sure will be a fun and STRESSFUL year.

It's already been a whirlwind few weeks - I've been at teacher workdays since last week... which means meetings, meetings, and more meetings, all while trying to prepare my classroom and myself for what's about to happen.  But I'm ready (I think).  And I'm going to embrace this year, just like I'm embracing this blog.  And I'll try and keep this up to date... You know, when I'm not at school, writing lesson plans, grading papers, or trying to catch up on sleep.

So here goes.  Tomorrow marks the first official day: Day 1.